Here In The Darkness I Know Myself
by D. R. Reivyn
Summary: Still trying to find themselves again after the events of In My Time of Dying, Dean and Sam run into a witch while hunting in Louisiana. Something about her strange purple eyes pulls Dean in. Can he be swayed from his rogueish, loner ways? And what does t
1. Nightmares

_**Disclaimer: **As many of you know, I have absolutely no rights to the show Supernatural. I do, however, own the character Deirdre Kavanagh, as well as her family, and will be very displeased to see any of them reproduced by anyone else._

_**Rating:** I'm rating this M to be safe, since there is rough language, and there will be sexual scenes in later chapters._

_**Author's Note:** Okay, this is the second fanfic I've ever written, and the first of the Supernatural kind. So please be nice. I would absolutely love reviews. Anything to better my writing.This story starts off somewhere at the beginning of season two. Spoilers will be thrown in as the season progresses.  
_

_**Summary:** Still trying to find themselves again after the events of In My Time of Dying, Dean and Sam run into a witch while hunting in Louisiana. Something about her exotic purple eyes pull Dean in. Can he be swayed from his rogue-ish, loner ways? And what does the future have in store for him?_

* * *

Red River, Louisiana

The nightmares had begun to take their toll. They plagued her every night, keeping her from getting the rest she needed. Real sleep had become a forgotten memory. The darkness and terror filled her, always at the back of her mind even in her waking hours. Yet never could she remember exactly what took place. It was like trying to grasp water in your hand as it drips away.

Deirdre Kavanagh lay on the lumpy motel bed, staring up at the dingy grey ceiling, tracing the water stains with her enchanting violet eyes. Yet again she'd woken from the nightmares, and she was far too exhausted to try to sleep again. Depressed at the thought, she sat up a bit, thinking of what she needed to do. It would be dawn in a few more hours, which meant she'd be able to leave and find the nearest grocery store. She needed to stock up on some things before she left town to continue her search.

Restless, she reached for Sully, her big collie-husky-wolf mix. He whined a bit as she scratched his ears, knowing it meant she wasn't asleep, and worrying about her. She smiled at him sadly. Sometimes she swore he was more than a dog.

Leaning back against the pillows again, she began to count the cracks in the ceiling. Maybe it would last her to daybreak.

* * *

Dean Winchester was delighting in the sounds of his purring engine and Blue Oyster Cult. It had taken some work, but the Impala was back in fine condition. Sam dozed beside him, catching some sleep after the long night they'd put in. Werewolves were a bitch to deal with. So now he was putting some distance between them and their last hunt.

Sam shifted and opened his eyes, blinking a bit as he looked around. "Where are we?" he asked groggily.

Dean glanced at him briefly. "Just a few minutes outside Red River, Louisiana. We'll stop there and fuel up, maybe catch some sleep." God knew his ass was dragging.

Sam paused, thinking back. "Why does that sound so familiar?"

"I have no idea." He took a hand from the wheel to rub his face. He was too tired to play Sam's guessing games.

But Sam was already reaching over to grab their dad's journal from the back seat where they'd tossed it earlier. He flipped through the pages, trying to find the entry he'd seen before. Maybe it was because he was so tired, but he just couldn't find it.

They drove in silence for another five minutes, which was all it took to find themselves in the center of town. Dean looked around before pulling into the gas station across from a little grocery store. The Impala needed gas, and he wanted a look around before they searched for a motel. The sun had finally peaked the horizon and he stared off at it while leaning against the car. But then he was distracted as what he was pretty sure was a '71 Plymouth 'Cuda pulled up behind him. Though it was purple, it still managed to scream muscle. He looked over to watch a beautiful woman, not quite Sam's age, step out of it. Black hair rained down her back in waves. He couldn't see the color of her eyes, but the dark bruises of many sleepless nights were blatant beneath them.

Sam got out on the other side, thinking of running across the street quick to pick up some provisions. Then he saw the look on his brother's face. He followed the line of vision, and sighed as he saw the woman too. He shook his head at Dean, wondering how, even after all that had happened in the last few months, he still managed to think like always. But because he knew his brother so well, he didn't bother to distract him.

Dree looked up as she felt a prickling along the back of her neck. Hearing thoughts of herself she looked up to see a pair of green-hazel eyes staring at her. Maybe three years ago she would have been interested, but now she had other things to worry about. Men were only fantasy. So she looked away and went about filling her gas tank.

A bit of shock ran through Dean as he saw that her eyes were purple, like the chunks of amethyst they sometimes used. But then her gaze left his, and he felt himself sag a bit, like a little energy left him. He shook himself, weirded out a bit. He wondered what was going on about this chick. Finishing up with his baby, he wandered over to her. "Need some help?" he asked her, even though he could perfectly see that she knew what she was doing. She glanced over and glared at him. He started to smile just before he got the shit scared out of him by a loud bark and a huge paw being smacked against the window. The woman smiled as he backed away from the mammoth of a dog that sat in her car. "Nice dog," he murmured.

She reached down and tapped on the window. "'Tis alright, Sully," she told him, a faint wisp of Ireland flowing through her voice. The dog backed down a bit, but still kept his blue eyes pinned on Dean. Laughter filled the woman's as she looked at Dean again. "He's rather protective." She finished gassing her 'Cuda, then went to walk inside to pay. Dean followed, needing to do the same.

Dree didn't like being followed, even if he had something else to do. Unfortunately there was a line inside, which didn't make sense this early in the morning, but she'd stopped questioning her bad luck at this point. While she waited she wandered around, figuring she might as well get things here instead of going across the road to the grocery store. She was grabbing some bottles of water when she accidentally knocked a can of soda out of the fridge and it fell to the ground, cracking open and spilling out all over the floor. Rubbing her temples, she looked around to see if anyone was looking. Everyone seemed to be in line. Turning back to the mess, she closed her eyes and began to mumble words in a strange language. Slowly the soda seeped back into the can. Once all of it had, the can sealed itself. She opened her eyes again and picked up the soda. "Much better," she said to herself.

"That's quite a trick."

Her eyes widened and she spun around, coming face to face with the man from outside. His face told her nothing, and she refused to look into his mind. "What are you talking about?"

Dean studied her in a detached way. He wasn't sure what language she had used, but it had definitely sounded like a spell; which meant she wasn't another child like Sam, but a witch. And witches tended to creep him out. "Well, since the last time I checked soda cans don't have their own built in cleaning system, I'm talking about the mess you just got rid of. I'm not blind sweetheart."

She could fix that, but it wasn't really an option at the moment. She shot a glance to the door, measuring the distance and obstacles in between. She'd never make it without pulling a few more tricks, and she really didn't want to cause more attention. So she went with denial. "I'm sorry; I really don't know what you're talking about." Bottles in hand, she skirted around him. But as she did his hand shot out and wrapped around her upper arm. Her eyes darkened immediately. "Let go of me," she said quietly.

It was interesting, watching what those eyes could do. He wasn't really sure why he was pushing this. It wasn't like him to mess with a witch. But something about her pulled him. He was about to say something when she spoke a word and he felt his hand spasm. He gasped from the pain and had to let go. She went straight to the register, which was finally free, and paid for her gas and waters. She was out the door before he completely got over the shock of it.

Seconds later, after paying for his own gas, he slammed out of the station and rushed over to the Impala. Sam already sat in the passenger seat, waiting for him. Seeing his brother's face made him straighten a little. "What?"

Dean said nothing. He got in and started the car, then pulled out, following the witch. He really wanted to talk to her now.

* * *

_Thoughts? Suggestions? Next chapter should be up soon._


	2. Persistent

_**Disclaimer: **As many of you know, I have absolutely no rights to the show Supernatural. I do, however, own the character Deirdre Kavanagh, as well as her family, and will be very displeased to see any of them reproduced by anyone else._

_**Author's Note:** I completely forgot last time, and there's no excuse for it, but I'd like to thank fpvs for checking this through and making sure my grammar was good. You've been a total lifesaver. Anyway, hope everyone enjoys!  
_

* * *

Sully sat beside her, completely alert as she sped down the highway away from the gas station and the strange man. To keep herself calm, she'd put on Evanescence and blared the stereo, knowing that Sully was used to it by now. But a glance in her rearview mirror showed the beautiful black car following her. She narrowed her eyes, trying to think of what she could do to put them off her trail.

Meanwhile, Sam was having a one sided pissing match with Dean. The fact that his brother was just sitting there, looking angrily ahead as he drove, only gave him more fuel. "What happened to finding a motel? Damn it Dean, would you stop thinking with your downstairs brain just once?" But it still didn't get a response out of Dean. Sam was so frustrated he nearly hit Dean. Only self preservation kept him from doing it.

Ignoring his brother wasn't giving Dean its usual glow. He was too busy trying to figure out what it was about that woman that pulled him. He couldn't help but wonder if she'd put some sort of spell on him, other than the whole hand thing. But at the same time, she'd wanted away from him, so nothing was adding up. Then, as he watched, the car ahead of him just slowed. Confused, he braked as well, before parking on the side of the road.

Dree simply laid her head on the steering wheel and closed her eyes. Why, of all times, did her 'Cuda have to die now? She took care of her baby, didn't she? Then Sully began to growl deeply, which signaled that the man had decided to take advantage of her misfortune. "Go away," she said through her open window when she sensed him beside her.

Dean's jaw clenched for a moment, and then he said "Can't do that. Don't know why yet, but I can't." There was another pause, in which she had time to wish for her sister's ability to disappear. Then she heard him sigh. "Look, we can give you a ride back to town so you can get a tow truck."

That made her sit back and look at him. Then she pulled out her cell phone and showed it to him. "Thanks, but I can handle it myself." She just wanted him to go, but that seemed unlikely to happen in the near future. As she wondered what she should do, Sully's growls deepened. She grabbed his snout before he could begin to bark, not wanting any more of a headache then she already had.

Finally, she let out her own sigh and started to open her door. Dean backed away as she stepped out, a small smile forming on his face, even though the dog was out as well. He waited while she closed the windows and locked the doors. But when she walked past the Impala and just headed back the way they had come he began to scowl instead.

Sam, having watched everything happen, grinned. He could definitely like this girl. "Problem?" he asked his brother when Dean came to a stop next to the Impala. At Dean's glare he laughed. "You know not all girls are going to just fall at your feet, right?"

"Shut up," Dean said as he got in. He debated whether or not to just put the witch out of his head and drive straight, but he couldn't seem to do it still. So he started the Impala again and pulled around to pace with her. "C'mon, are you really going to walk all the way back to town?"

She glanced over at him. "It's a whole lot safer than getting into a car with two strange men." Sully barked once, as if to agree.

"We're only trying to help. Aren't we Sam?" But Sam, still smiling, only mimed zipping his lips. Dean would definitely have to get him back for that later.

And it was like that the whole way back to town; Dean cajoling, Dree finding ways around it, and Sam sitting there highly amused. One thing both men did notice about her was her apparent lack of tiring. They'd been about two miles out when she broke down, and the witch wasn't even winded when they entered the little parish.

But Dree was thankful that the mechanic's shop was on the outskirts. She walked right in and looked around for whoever worked there. Behind a desk in the corner sat a woman who looked to be in her mid fifties. She looked up when Dree entered. "Can I help you, chère?"

Dree smiled and let some of her weariness show. "Yes, my car broke down about two miles outside of town. I was hoping someone would be able to tow it back here to fix it."

"Oh you poor dear." The woman stood and rushed over to her. "Did you walk all this way?" When Dree nodded the woman burst into a spiel of French, most of which she recognized as swears. Normally she'd be translating it all in her head, but she was too tired to bother. The woman steered her over to a chair and sat her down. "You sit right there. My Johnny will go get your car for you."

"Thank you," she said, letting out a relieved breath. Then the woman rushed off to get Johnny, leaving Dree to relax. Only she couldn't, because she was pretty sure the man was still outside. But she didn't have long to ponder it, because moments later the woman was back, with a man just shy of thirty. He wore a grey shirt and blue overalls, all of which, including himself, were covered in grease. Something about the two of them eased the tension in her.

"Mama says your car broke down. Where abouts might that be?"

"Two miles out, going north on the highway. It's a purple Plymouth Barracuda."

She watched as Johnny's brows rose a bit. Her car wasn't exactly cheap after all. "Alright, I'll go get her and bring her back here, see what's wrong. Might take awhile."

Her smile was small, but there. "Don't worry, I have time."

Of course, she hadn't been planning on it being this long. She found out nearly an hour later that she'd be stuck in town for at least another day. That's what happened when you decided to drive around in a classic. Especially when you couldn't fix her yourself.

A glance out the front door told her, surprisingly, that the man wasn't still there. Trying not to wonder about it, she shifted the bag on her shoulder and started out. It looked like she'd be going back to the cheap motel. Sully trotted at her side, her ever present companion. The motel was on the other side of the parish, but she truly didn't mind the walk.

When she finally arrived at the motel, she had the unpleasant surprise of seeing the black Chevy sitting in the parking lot. Giving in, she pulled her hair, wondering what she'd done recently that would give the gods reason to do this to her. Knowing that question would never be answered, she went to the little office, thankful that neither of the men were there. Only the young woman from the night before. Getting the same room, Dree decided that she would simply have to avoid them for the next day. It couldn't be that hard… could it?

* * *

As Sam slept in the other bed, Dean lay there staring at the ceiling. He didn't understand what it was about the woman that made him think about her. Closing his eyes, he tried to will himself to sleep. God knew he was tired enough.

He must have dozed off, because the next thing he knew Sam was waking him up. "C'mon Dean, you've been sleeping long enough."

"Time's it?" he mumbled, keeping his eyes closed.

Sam looked at his watch. "About five o'clock."

"In the morning?"

"No, at night. Jeez Dean, and you say I'm bad."

It took another moment, but then the day came flooding back to him. He rubbed his face as he tried to wake up. He was surprised he'd slept so deeply. But then again, he'd definitely needed it. The past few days he'd mostly been running on coffee. Which his nose finally caught the scent of as he opened his eyes. He sat up and held out his hand. Sam automatically passed over one of the cups he held. After the first sip Dean felt a bit more human. "Got any food to go with this?"

Sam shook his head. "No, I figured you'd wanna go hit the local bar. But if you want I could go grab something from the diner."

"No, you're right. The bar sounds better. Just let me catch a shower quick."

Twenty minutes later they were walking into Hal's Tavern. It nearly depressed him how much it looked like half the other red neck bars he'd been in. Ignoring the tables, he went right to the bar and ordered a couple beers and sandwiches. Sam, of course, had a few newspapers, so he found a table that suited him and began paging through, looking for the next hunt.

Leaning against the bar, Dean looked around to see if there were any prospects of fun for the night. The woman getting their beers seemed to be sending him a few significant glances, and he spotted a couple girls at the end of the bar who looked interesting. He widened his search, finally seeing her sitting at a table in the darkest corner. A brief survey of her confirmed his earlier rundown. Definitely a loner, even more so than him or Sam. She had a journal out in front of her, and half a sandwich pushed off to the side. As he watched she paused to take a sip from her glass of water. Shaking his head he had to wonder why anyone would come to a bar if they weren't going to drink.

Taking the beers that were just set in front of him, he first went over to Sam. "Find anything yet?" he asked and set down one of the beers.

"No, looks like the wolves have been scaring off things around here."

"Alright. I'll be around." Then he walked over to the witch. She tensed as he sat down across from her. "Miss me?"

She looked up, her eyes flashing in annoyance. "Not really. I was actually hoping you'd been eaten by a gator." She didn't bother to close her journal. Instead she set down her pen and picked up her water again.

His lips twitched. "Cute. Sorry to disappoint you." He took a quick glance at what she'd been writing, and then had to look again when all he saw was gibberish.

Dree smiled at the frown that formed on his face. She'd known he'd be too nosy to resist. "Problem?"

"What the hell is that?" They weren't even letters. It was all written in symbols.

She finally closed it then. "Unlike many, I choose not to make it easy for others to read important information." She tucked it away in the bag at her feet.

"Huh." It actually did make sense. "So, is it a diary journal or a Book of Shadows?"

"What's the difference to you?"

He took a sip of beer. "Well, a diary would be interesting, and so worth the time it takes to figure out your little code thing. A Book of Shadows would just be more gibberish to me."

"Ah." She said it like she cared, but she really didn't.

"Alright, I have to ask. What's with the water? Beer too strong for you?"

Her eyes darkened to nearly black as they narrowed. "In case you hadn't noticed before, I'm Irish. No spirit is too strong for me."

He grinned, happy to hit a nerve. "Then why aren't you drinking?"

"Because American beer tastes like piss," she said simply, and was amused when he nearly choked on the sip he'd just taken.

It took him a moment to finish swallowing and not gag. "You know what I think?"

She rolled her eyes. "I really don't care."

"I don't think you can take it," he continued. "You speak like an American, so you probably drink like an American female."

She couldn't believe he'd gone there. Incensed, she stood, stalked over to the bar, and ordered a double whiskey. When it was served she threw it back, drinking it faster than she had the water. Then she slammed it down, threw a bill on the counter, and stalked back over to Dean. "Happy?"

He was grinning again. "Yep."

"Cad," she called him. Then couldn't help but smile as well.

* * *

_Again, thoughts or suggestions. Not sure when the next chapter will be up. Probably in the next few days._


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